PTSD and ……


I found myself babbling on a meme about PTSD posted by a friend. It got me to thinking of the first time my adult self recognised the symptoms in me.

It was maybe 8 months or so after 9/11. And I woke…really woke up to find colors were brighter, birds singing off my porch brought me joy and  my head was not in the fog that had enveloped a unknowing me for months. Life didn’t seem so hard, dark and I just FELT. I recall that I cried, my dog rubbing up against me and I just cried. It took a bit for me to realise that I was just coming out of the shock of 9/11.

I had been getting ready for work that day, drinking coffee, putting on my makeup, planning my day and the weekend ahead, watching a NY Morning show….I stayed home that day and watched it all, from the first to…the retaliation of bombings happening a world away.

Even though I was running a seafood company on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada; everything that happened that day affected the next several months of my life, my company and my future.

They were dark days.  I won’t bore you with the details, for everyone has their own tale.

What I vividly recall was coming out of the fog. It is possible that I am confusing labels such as Shock, PTSD and Trauma/Stress? Or are they possibly all the same just being given different psycho babble handles?

I am; have become a stronger person over the years. Mainly due to the fact that I was responsible for bringing a life into this world; I was responsible for staying strong, providing for,  keeping myself sane and a role model for my child. (Not saying that I was , far from it) But she kept me grounded and I love her so very much….I had no choice but to survive…the reality of ME.

Getting back to the meme that got me writing this. It was about US Vets and PTSD and how we should all speak out and help. For that I do agree; never been to war, don’t want to. But I can’t imagine what the human brain brings back from leaving North America to ending up in a country on the other side of the world so unlike your own. Bringing back memories of…OMG  I truly can’t imagine, for each person brings back and lives with…………….

War..War, huh, yeah

What is it good for

Absolutely nothing

War, huh, yeah

What is it good for

Absolutely nothing

Say it again, why’all

                                Edwin Star


OK…. This is where.. If you are reading this… you’ll either stop and think or troll the hell out of me.

But really what are wars fought over? Religion?Oil? Gold? Greed? Politics? How many are really truly a defensive move to defend your own country? Well let’s put it like this… You have all watched enough movies, maybe even studied history… so, if not to defend your home and family from an invasion. How many wars, how many lives, soldiers and civilian lives have been lost due to….GREED?

Think about that for a moment. Take a war.. any war in history  and question.. why it happened, who it benefitted and who died! You will find if you read and dig deep enough that most wars caused many more deaths to civilians and young men, who died.. not for the betterment of their family and own lives.. But for some other cause then the bill of goods they were fed.

To defend our Country and our Country’s Interests. The later usually stands for a few rich S.O.B.’s (Corporations and their stock values) Oil or other interests on foreign soil. Let me put it another way…..why on God’s green earth should one North American Family send their children to fight a war over oil, when there is enough oil in North America to not only service this area but sell a surplus?

Maybe I am missing part of the puzzle, if we had minded our own business and kept the hell out of other nations growth and organic change….. But we couldn’t, wouldn’t because to do that would not gain unimaginable sales in weapons of war, would not make us look superior, and would hurt?????? Hurt who, do most North Americans know the stories of North and South Korea, Vietnam, Iraq & Iran, Syria and Yemen?

So with the unimaginable war budget, this country can not, will not assist the men who fought it’s battles.  So, again I say…. why should you?

But back to PTSD or what ever label the head shrinks want to use. Trauma  is what it is, does not matter if the body heals, the mind, the soul, the brain remembers. You have to learn to deal with this, alone, with help or last resort with drugs. The later, even prescribed I am against, although self medication has been my personal  unsuccessful choice.

Keeping silent….. does not work. So scream, write, post, talk, but get it out and deal.

I’m here if you need to talk


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